Got a toothbrush?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
