there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
