i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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