Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
