oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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