I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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