She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
