Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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