I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
