Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
