I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
