the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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