is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
