He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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