Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
