I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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