My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
No stitches, just platelets and will power
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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