It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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