i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
