Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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