goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
