I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
