I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
