mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
