You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
