Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
