Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You can't just leave with hair like that
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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