sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
