i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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