Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
