I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
