I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
