my soul wont recognize me after tonight
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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