im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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