bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
