I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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