The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
