just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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