what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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