dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
