I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
