We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How does one acquire holy water?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
