Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
