The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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