You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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