im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
