I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
