you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
