I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
