Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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