He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
